Angel 1.8: "I Will Remember You"

Written by David Greenwalt and Jeanne Renshaw
Directed by David Grossman

In which Angel’s humanity is restored during a visit from Buffy, forcing him to decide between a relationship with his true love or the mission he has undertaken…


Status Report

This episode really should not work as well as it does. After all, it uses one of the most predictable plot devices conceivable to give Angel and Buffy a nice, sweeps-friendly love nest before yanking it back. It draws Buffy back to Angel just when it seems like her interests are moving on to someone else. It keeps “Angel” from finding its own voice, just when it seems like the series could use something more to drive it forward.

Yet for all that, the writers must have realized that the fans hadn’t made the mental and emotional leap necessary to accept the split between Buffy and Angel. The seeds of that decision had come long before, early in the third season of “Buffy”, during the Christmas-themed episode “Amends”. Angel was clearly meant to be a hero, working towards his own redemption. Having already learned that a relationship with Buffy meant bad things, the logical step was moving on.

This episode poses the one possibility that remained in play: what if Angel were to be restored to his former humanity? What if he was no longer bound to the curse, and could give Buffy what she wanted and deserved, without fear of turning demonic? Could Angel learn to accept that his struggle for redemption is over that quickly, and learn to live like a normal man again?

Buffy’s reason for coming to Los Angeles is obviously to see Angel; her father has all but checked out of her life by this point. More than that, Buffy has every reason to come around and give Angel a piece of her mind. Angel was the one who decided to leave Sunnydale, and he made that decision without consulting her in the slightest. To have him come back just long enough to see everyone but her, without so much as a word, is like twisting the knife in her gut.

Of course, once Angel is attacked by the Mohra demon, Buffy slips into Slayer mode and tries to justify her continued presence by joining the hunt to “make things even”. At the same time, it seems like a pretext to get more time to express her feelings, something that she doesn’t do all that well on a good day. She’s obviously conflicted, because she claims to have come to Los Angeles to tell Angel not to come around or see her anymore, since it messes with her process of moving on. It doesn’t occur to her, perhaps, that the point would be delivered more efficiently by not communicating it in person. Mixed messages are often hard to interpret.

The Mohra demon seems to be an ill-considered plot device. If the blood of a Mohra demon is able to heal so effectively, to the point of restoring a vampire to life, one would think that someone would have heard about it before now. In fact, one might even wonder why Giles wouldn’t have thought about it for Angel, at least for the sake of Buffy’s happiness. Had the Mohra demon been important in the long-term, one would have expected it to come up again, perhaps in the fifth season when Spike was more than a little interested in restoring his humanity.

Whatever the case, the writers make the most of Angel’s restoration. Unlike the Ring of Amarra, which only made Angel invulnerable, this plot device allows Angel to experience his lost humanity in full. It’s not at all surprising, then, that he’s interested in two things: feeding his face and exploring the possibility of demon-free sex. Having nothing in his stomach, of course, food comes first. (It’s a wonder he didn’t give himself food poisoning or serious indigestion, but that’s another matter of debate!)

Angel’s restoration immediately brings up one major question: what about his path towards redemption? Even Doyle is thrown for a loop. It turns out that Doyle was aware that Angel was up for restoration if The Powers That Be stepped in, and this hints that Doyle had more information than he was letting on. It also muddies the waters in terms of the fourth season conception that Doyle was part of Jasmine’s master plan; if Doyle was actually aware of TPTB and their plans for Angel, then he wasn’t simply getting visions.

At the same time, there seems to be two layers to Angel’s mission: the real mission, guided more or less remotely by TPTB, and then Jasmine’s plan to co-opt Angel’s real mission for her own purposes. From the perspective of the series as a whole, TPTB could have known about Jasmine and seen her as part of Angel’s overall path. Whatever the case, this places Angel’s decision in the series finale in an interesting and oft-forgotten perspective: the “Shanshu Prophecy” was not the only place where Angel’s restoration was mentioned, even if Angel forgets his conversation with Doyle later. (That’s not surprising, since he probably tries to forget this day as much as possible.)

It’s questionable for the writers to suddenly introduce the idea of Doyle knowing so much more about Angel and his mission. The writers were well aware of Glenn Quinn’s impending exit, and so it’s disingenuous for them to hint that Doyle will be around to slowly but surely reveal the truth. The only explanation would be that the writers wanted the audience to understand that Angel’s mission was compromised when Doyle was killed; in a way, that could play into the idea that Jasmine took steps to use Angel for her own purposes, cutting Doyle out of the action once he became inconvenient.

This episode introduces the Oracles, the first in a string of otherworldly intermediaries with TPTB. It’s quite possible that the season arc was supposed to evolve very differently than it did; the Oracles don’t quite fit into the Buffyverse as it eventually unfolded, as if they were a discarded plot element. Whatever the case, they tell Angel what would eventually be reinforced in the season finale: TPTB intended to restore Angel’s humanity after he completed his task by averting the apocalypse, thus saving humanity.

Interestingly, the Oracles make it very plain that Angel’s current restoration must have been part of the overall plan. It’s suggested that Angel is meant to learn something from his experience, something that the Oracles don’t fully understand themselves. They only know that Angel must be sent away, to find himself at the necessary crossroads, so he can consciously make the decision to be a Champion. Choosing the path, of course, is very different from being forced to walk it.

Angel’s eventual choice is hardly a revelation; he sees the potential problems of being Buffy’s human boyfriend, constantly in need of her protection (not unlike, say, Xander). Angel logically sees that a relationship with Buffy wouldn’t work until he could reconcile his new life for himself. Logic, however, is hardly at play between them, and all it takes is a single touch for all the pent-up passion to take hold. That leads to a mixture of the eating and the sex, which pretty much covers everything that Angel could possibly want in that moment.

Of course, as anyone with a brain could easily guess, the happiness cannot last. Doyle has the inevitable vision of the Mohra demon, back and stronger than ever. Doyle comes at warn Angel and Buffy, but Angel decides to go take on the demon himself, armed with whatever he and Doyle can research on the way to the demon’s likely location.

On the face of it, this is intensely stupid. Angel has no reason to risk himself when the Slayer is at his disposal. But with a little reflection, it’s easy to see where Angel is coming from. Angel has already mentioned his concerns about being a distraction for Buffy, constantly in need of protection, unable to hold his own. For Angel, this is a matter of proving to himself that he can hold up his end of the bargain, even if he doesn’t have to for his own redemption.

More than that, some part of Angel must understand that abandoning his former path is the wrong move. Characters in the Buffyverse rarely express their true feelings; they dodge and weave behind the answers they think people want to hear, just like real people. Proving that he can stand on his own isn’t just for Buffy’s sake; if he can fight by her side, then he gets to continue his new path, fulfilling the responsibility he’s already accepted.

The Mohra demon tosses out some choice exposition throughout the fight, even when Buffy shows up to save Angel from one hell of a beating. In a nice bit of continuity, the Mohra mentions that the apocalypse has already started, something that dovetails with the description of the “end times” given in the fifth season. The writers routinely played with the expectations of the audience when it came to the “apocalypse”, so it’s interesting to note that the first real mention of it essentially matches what the final explanation would be.

It’s also not clear what the Mohra means when he says “together they were powerful, but alone, they are dead”. The apparent interpretation is that they are a powerful combination for TPTB when they are both working as Champions, but if one of them steps off that path, they both will fail and die in the process. Of course, that may not be the point; after all, Buffy dies less than two years later, and that was something Joss had in mind long before the fourth season. So the meaning of the Mohra demon’s words seems muddled at best.

Angel interprets the Mohra’s demon’s words to mean that “soldiers of darkness” are coming, and if Buffy stands alone, she will fall. The inevitable conclusion is that Angel is needed to fight those soldiers in Los Angeles, as an additional line of defense for the Slayer. In retrospect, this doesn’t quite make sense. Most of what Angel faces has little to do with Buffy and much to do with his own choices. Similarly, Buffy’s foes have nothing to do with Angel and his travails. So why would the Oracles make that claim?

Again, it seems likely that the Oracles were testing Angel, placing the choice of Buffy’s life or his own humanity on the scales. Angel chooses to become a Champion not just to save Buffy, but also to give TPTB the weapon they need to fight the darkness. It’s that second part that makes the greatest impression on the Oracles. In keeping with this interpretation of the episode, Angel is left to remember the sacrifice he made, not as a burden, but as a reminder of the importance of his work.

Angel makes his point of view rather clear to Buffy. It’s not enough to fight for one’s own reasons; if the battle is fought for personal gain, then it’s fought for the wrong reasons. That’s about imposing one’s will on the universe, effectively becoming the very thing to be fought. It’s about willingly placing the lives of others above one’s own. That’s what TPTB are looking for in Angel, and that’s what he intends to give them.

It’s not just about TPTB or some struggle against the apocalypse. As the fifth season would reinforce, it’s a metaphor for life itself. Much of what Angel endures is a metaphor for young adulthood. In this case, it’s that moment in life when it becomes clear that one cannot live in service to one’s own desires forever. Angel is still learning that lesson in this episode, and he would struggle with it going into the second season. (Not incidentally, this is exactly the point that Cordelia makes.)

That doesn’t make it any easier for Buffy. Once again, it’s as if Angel is denying her happiness, even if she intellectually understands the point that he’s trying to make. The fact that they only have a minute makes it even worse. It makes sense from a dramatic standpoint to show Buffy and Angel holding on to those last precious moments, but in a very real way, it’s cruel for Angel to do it. He could have let the time pass without seeing her, or simply let her hold on the happiness, unaware of what’s about to happen. Perhaps he feels a need to explain himself while she can still understand, to serve some internal need for affirmation. Whatever the case, it’s easy to see where Angelus gets his ability to twist emotions and toy with people; Angel himself has quite the subconscious talent for it.

The episode leaves Buffy and Angel in two very different positions. Buffy is left feeling manipulated and confused, no different than the moment she barged in and gave Angel a piece of her mind. It leaves her in a bit of a tailspin, however, because the writers have just given the audience a few good reasons why Riley Finn wouldn’t make a very good match for her. Then again, that could be why the writers revealed Riley’s role in the Initiative just prior to this crossover, to establish that Riley is not a normal man and capable of handling himself in combat.

Angel, on the other hand, now knows about the coming darkness and presumably why Doyle was sent to help him make that human connection. Doyle was sent to ensure that Angel would understand what he was fighting for, because one way or another, Angel is going to be on the front lines. Angel has to feel as though his understanding of that dynamic has been sorely tested. More than that, he must feel more lonely than ever, something that is going to only get worse with the next episode.

Even if this episode placed Angel’s mission into perspective and introduced concepts that would extend through the entire series’ run, the fact remains that this was a sweeps event. Bringing Buffy and Angel together in a moment of bliss was all about the buzz factor. The writers managed to make it work well enough, but the plot device of the Mohra demon is problematic in light of the series as a whole.

It’s also clear that the writers were still working out how to move the series out of the introductory phase. The issues with Glenn Quinn and the decision to remove Doyle didn’t help, though it did fit into the “complication” phase of the season rather well. It took longer than usual for the writers to get a feel for the scope of the apocalyptic plot threads, and as such, elements like the Oracles seem out of place and clash with the tone of later elements.

Between the somewhat tentative introduction of the apocalyptic plot threads and Buffy’s presence, this episode is often cited as an example of the first season’s strengths and weaknesses. There’s some critical character work for Angel in this episode, which fits the mission statement of the series, but there’s also an apparent lack of self-identity for the series as a whole. The series wouldn’t truly step out of the shadow of its parent until the third season, when the writers found a way to give Angel’s story a distinct context.


Memorable Quotes

BUFFY: “It was rude. We should go kill it.”
ANGEL: “I’m free…”

CORDELIA: “Look out, he’s gonna eat…everything in sight…”

ANGEL: “’The Gateway for Lost Souls’ is under the Post Office?”
DOYLE: “It makes sense if you think about it…”

BUFFY: “You hurt my boyfriend.”
MOHRA: “A great darkness is coming!”
BUFFY: “You got that right…”


Final Analysis

Overall, this episode does everything possible to make this sweeps event work in the context of the series as a whole. Angel’s ongoing role in the apocalypse is clearly introduced, and his resolve as a Champion is tested. There’s no question that the scenes between Buffy and Angel are heart-wrenching, but episodes like this did very little to help “Angel” gain its own identity.

Writing: 1/2
Acting: 2/2
Direction: 2/2
Style: 2/4

Final Rating: 7/10